Stunning

I guess there'se a long time since i haven't been writing anything. Still, there's better to get started later, than never:)...
Those past months, lots of things have changed...ones in better, others just kept getting worst. Now i don't know how to start, when i know that there was no beginning, and yet no end... The late autumn have found me so sad, worried and disappointed. People i'd once thought i'd knew proved to be unrecognizable. Yes, i have lost one friend... and it was awful. But i tried to carry on...and move along into a brand new life.
Today i find myself stronger, but still sad, worried and disappointed. Here's where i'm asking myself once again: why? People are not the same as they once used to be, we live different times, and we're getting worst, insteed of getting better. I hardly try to keep myself the way i've always been, but day after day this seems to be so difficult. I am yet kind, pitiful. I'm making the same old mistakes all over again. Will i ever learn this lesson? When  will i realize that this world has changed? That people that i've once helped will never turn my favor and worst, they will stab behind my back as soon as they'll have that chance! I'm sick and tired of this stupid game called friendship... No one trully loves you nowadays, unless they have a material reason to do so...
When i was a child, all i was dreaming of was to grow up. I've dreamt of me being a great student, to graduate a fine college and a top university with exceed expectations... to find a job that will give me the opportunity to prove myself and my knowledges... Now when i finally have my childhood dreams come true i just wanna be child again...And i dream...dream on and on...
A successfull career gives you gratitude and buys you enemies. This isn't what i've desired. But now i have to live with it.
I cannot understand how can anyone hate you because of your accomplishments... Does any of these people ask themselves if it is your "fault"for your success or are just your worths to blame insteed of thinking that successfull people are to blame because of their miserable lifes? Do they ever think that maybe you have made many sacrifices? Why didn't they done the same? Because of fears or just commodity? I keep asking myself why don't you open your eyes wide, my"friends", and see what it is to see? I wouldn't be where i am today without all these sacrifices... Just think a bit...